The End to an Eight Year-Long Butt Kicking

There is a different feeling today, and even for long-winded types like myself, it is difficult to know how to describe it. Obviously, there is a great deal of emotion behind the results of Election Day in the US, regardless of who you voted for, and I am going to do something that has not been done in the last eight years:

I will not put any pressure on you to make you feel like less of an American for your political beliefs. I wonder if this will become the new 'buzz phrase', but 'AS OBAMA SAID...', even Abraham Lincoln said the beauty of this country is that we co-exist even when passionate beliefs put a strain on one's affection for another.

That said...I can wake up today, and say, 'The last 8 years are finally over.'

Let me give a time-line of my last eight years:

• 2000 - In the middle of a SAG strike, while an up and coming non-union talent, my entertainment career was put on hold for a variety of reasons. I worked in Times Square for ESPNZone as a production assistant. I remember that I kept certain televisions on in bar late Election Night for some guys who wanted to see who won. While watching, oddly the man I voted for was elected, but after the candidate who lost's brother, the governor of Florida, decided it was ok not to count votes from a certain group of people in his state....the new president-elect...was no longer elected. It took two weeks to find out why we had a new president-elect. I always think, 'Imagine if I never went to bed until I knew who won'. It took two weeks, but nevertheless, the president elected in 2000 gave birth to the belief in my heart, that voting is just a political farce, and my trust went out the window.

• 2001 - I will be brief here. I live in New York City. The events of September 11th left us devastated, even to this day, whether many admit it or not. I did find more 'good' than 'bad', in NYC people at least, while the entertainment crowd skipped town for the west coast, which meant work was scarce. I started to trust government again. I felt strongly for Bush after he came to NYC. Even though Rudy Guiliani was pretty much hated before 9/11, he seemed to be showing character. The people of NYC came together, but the obvious change to the skyline left many wanting 'redemption' in their hearts.

• 2002 - I barely remember this year. I began to travel while working for General Motors and their auto show tour. I felt no need to keep any record of the trying times, going from city to city, and I was really not doing what I wanted to do. I blanked out shortly after our president said the people who were responsible for 9/11 were in Iraq, and many were too clouded with anger to answer the question for me, 'Do you think he is just using this opportunity to get back at Saddam for trying to kill his dad? He is still from Texas, and obviously his family has power.'.

• 2003 - Somewhere around this time, complete demoralization set in. GM laid me off for financial reasons. I worked for an agent helping disabled athletes get funding for their tournaments. I sold golf and ski equipment. I became licensed in NY State as a 'Loss Prevention Officer' (an in-store security guard with a license to stop shoplifters without getting sued). From my knowledge at GM, I sold cars! I marveled at the fact this country went to war without a vote from Congress. I was still trying to act, but my family was pressuring me to 'settle down'.

• 2004 - I ran out of energy and my family helped me get work at AIG. They recognized me as someone who was trying to work very hard, and they accepted me for it. That was very new to me, so I stuck around with the Wall St. gang for a while. I met a woman, and things appeared to be looking up. Then, I watched my company bend over backwards for the tsunami in Indonesia, while denying insurance claims to Florida citizens hit by hurricanes. I was not feeling this new type of hypocrisy would be healthy. I did get in touch with my voice over coach again who told about Voice123. In this election year, I did not vote. I found the president threw around "9/11" to create fear and loathing for personal gain. I wanted no part of any of this country, which let a president get re-elected after he sent people to war, stated 'WE WON!', and then continued the war. This had effects on a close family member who was in the 101st Airborne division, and going crazy over his friends still being in a war that was supposedly over.
  

• 2005 - I was put in charge of an insurance claims unit that took in new claims. The lack of caring for the citizens of Louisiana after hurricane Katrina left me wondering just what I was doing. Voice123 started to seem like a good hobby to 'get back to where I once belonged.' I was happier only because of my soon-to-be-wife.

• 2006 - After helping out AIG with NY State audits, seeing more stress than economic reward, I paid more attention to my wife and Voice123, while wondering why I felt dead inside. I was engaged, and worked 8 hour days, but waking up each day and darning that suit each day left me feeling like just another hypocrite who has settled down. I was not happy. Bless my wife for just 'being there' at a time when most people seem to give up.
  

• 2007 - I had enough of the unhappiness, and finally started fighting back. I got married 90% out of love, 10% out of the tax break. I quit AIG. I found a job at Voice123. I was feeling good, and had many things going for me now, but what still weighed on my conscience was that people who cared more about money, than they did other people, were still running the show. I was trying to sort out why simply feeling that way led others to believe I was crazy.

• 2008 - Wall St. tanks, and bails out people with all the money. My family that had pressured me to settle down were now emailing ME, asking me if I knew of any extra work. This was a sobering feeling to finally be recognized as the one who, throughout all pressures and criticisms, may have actually been the most settled down out of anyone I knew, simply because I believed in treating people with respect, and that change is inevitable, so staying in one place is not always the wise choice.

Election Day was yesterday, and I finally feel like it is ok to be myself again.

• In the past eight years, what always got under my skin was the belief that you are NOT American if you do not do as the president says, or you are NOT American if you are against the war.
• I watched a country succumb to fear, by which many people in higher positions have profited financially from.
• I have watched a president abuse his position to a perverted level whereby it is completely obvious to the American public, but no one felt as if they had any power at all to do anything about it.
• It was a country where rich men in suits told every American, 'You can be whatever you want in America. You can even be as rich as me.', leaving off the fine print of this statement that this would involve breaking laws, shipping work and money overseas, stealing, bullying, only to eventually bankrupt the American public while protecting the very people who caused it.
• Then, when I disagree with this, I am told I am a 'communist' or 'socialist' or 'idealist'?

I will forever find 'gloating' to be overrated, so I wont mention how this country now feels they need change like I do, regardless of who was elected. If they feel change was not necessary, I can only imagine they were of the 15% of Americans who profitted the last 8 years; the very same people who said, 'You can do anything you want in America.' I will fight for anyone who fights for me, and the past eight years left me feeling like I was just being beaten up by the actions of a few, who then expected the country me to fight for them or else I was 'not American'.

Waking up today, I feel that pressure lifted. I feel we all can really do something with the opportunity put before us now. Maybe I see things in black and white, but my wife is black and I am white, and I have lots of diverse friends of many cultures. That is the America. I tend to listen and love more than criticize, but I am not afraid to confront you with my beliefs. I know money worries are not the real issue in America. Money will always just be paper and power control system.

This is the dawn of a new day where 'caring for others' really takes on a new meaning, and I plan to be a part of it.

I am making a choice today to never forget how I feel at this moment, so I am driven to always be my best because one day, it will mean something. To all of those out there, especially my mother in law, who waited 50+ years for yesterday...your bravery, strength and conviction that you are doing what is right, is inspiring to me and admirable. Today, my beautiful African-American wife and her mother are trying to cope with heavy feelings today, and I know their fight was much longer than 8 years, but I just wont know the pain they felt because my problem were minor in comparison. I feel today though, that they will be just fine.

I wish us all strength and courage in the days ahead.